A Slight WTF

Ok I want to know who found my blog by searching for “seventeen year old having sex”
When I saw on the dashboard that somebody found me with that search, I tried to google and yahoo that phrase and it didn’t come up, which was a relief. Anyway i’m just curious.

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Mold-A-Rama

Last weekend I went to the zoo with some very lovely ladies. It was nice to have a date. It was nice to see the animals. But those of you who have been to Brookfield Zoo all know what the real attraction is. Of course I’m talking about the Mold-A-Rama machines.
The Mold-A-Rama is a cool [...]

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The Fouts Report: Wartime Lullaby

Well, as most of you probably know, five students were killed on the 14th at NIU, in the building next to mine. None of my students were killed, for which I am extremely happy. I’ve already lost one student this year to a car accident and I do not wish to ever repeat the experience [...]

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Reavis Hall: Aged but not Old

At least once a week, when I am at Northern Illinois University, and on my way to teach English composition, I am stopped in the hallway by a confused student who is looking for a certain room in “reevous” hall. The first few times this happened, it didn’t strike me as anything special. But after [...]

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Album Review: Sheryl Crow’s Detours

Ok. So I got up early and immediately downloaded Detours from iTunes. Now I have listened to it once and am going for a second listen.
The Good
It doesn’t sound like rehashed seventies pop-songs (a la songs like Steve Mcqueen or Hard to Make a Stand). This is a major improvement over her last few albums. [...]

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The New Sheryl Crow Sounds Good

Sheryl Crow’s new album Detours comes out next Tuesday and I am going to get it off of iTunes as early as humanly possible. Normally I wouldn’t care much. You see, I’ve hated Sheryl Crow’s music ever since her second album came out, but if the single is any indication, this is going to be [...]

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Le Quattro Stagioni

Here is a first draft of a poem I’m working on for a very special girl
    Le Quattro Stagioni
     I.
Come and see the lovely fawns
frisk and play, for it is their first
spring as well. Their dark eyes
shine like your dark hair with
a peculiar light, a young light.
raucous with a rush of life,
awkward with [...]

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Online dating IV: Who Knows What

The “online dating” series are emails and dating profiles that I come across that I like to put into a poetic form by changing the line breaks. They are mostly supposed to be funny.
Online Dating IV
Who Knows What
Hot and wild girl
looking for fun with a cute
younger stud.
If that sounds like you, then
lets talk and who [...]

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Taking Damage

Matthew Fouts
Taking Damage
The mind. The body.
a sad song is
a lesion on your brain
that will never heal.
Every girl that turns
you down,
every dance you sit alone,
every time you spin,
every time you fall,
you take damage.

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Taking My Life in Your Hands

Matthew Fouts
Taking My Life in Your Hands
I guess I should have known
when she met me for coffee
in old baggy clothes,
that she profoundly didn’t give
a shit. I guess I’m just a cock
eyed optimist. That’s not true.
The truth: she sized me up
and saw me as a weight.
I fell in love with the glow
of her shiny black hair
and [...]

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