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Archive for May, 2007

I thought global warming was supposed to turn us all into fried bacon. So why am I freezing my ass off in Illinois on May 25th? I call bullcrap on this weather. I should be outside right now, enjoying the heat and smoking a fine cigar. Instead I’m sitting in my little room and bitching [...]

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Asshat
There once was a man from CassWho’s head was a hat for his ass.When he went to the bar,the girls near and farsaid “thanks, but no thanks, I’ll pass.”
MF

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Ok. Somebody needs to tell me what the deal is with guys who wear tights when they ride a bicycle. Every morning when I go into work at my summer job, I have to see one of my fuckwad coworkers come waltzing in wearing his “riding outfit,” which consists of skin-tight black stretch pants and [...]

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So I’ve been sitting around the house feeling all depressed and sorry for myself. I won’t burden you with the intimate details of my problems (receding hairline, no money, my abject inability to attract women etc.)
I got tired of playing “Always Something There to Remind Me” on my itunes. So, I figured I would record [...]

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Here is something that pisses me off: I’m trying to support the blogging community by clicking on the ‘next blog’ button and reading whatever comes up. Suddenly I come across a blog that starts blaring shitty music out of my speakers…. My Freakin Speakers!
Now I know that you want to share your favorite band with [...]

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Every blog needs to have a muse, a beautiful woman who inspires one’s thoughts. So…DAT DA DA DA. Meet the official muse of il Compendium:
You guessed it. It’s Erin Esurance, the talented, and beautiful, animated spokeswoman for Esurance. I don’t even know what esurance is. I think it’s like car insurance or something. All I [...]

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Hello everyone. Looks like it’s time to dip into the mail bag once again and see what people have to say. Here is an interesting letter I recieved earlier this week.
Dear Il Compendium. You seem to know a lot about love, so I hope you can answer my question. I have been trying to get [...]

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Poem

You will be happy to know
that I am not fantasizing about you tonight.You are not wearing the black shirtthat shows off your neck.You are not wearing the blue dressthat makes me crazy
and I think I can be forgivenif I picture you,just once more, in your grey coatand your black boots.

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Exam Week

Y’know. Love is a little bit like a final exam. You spend a lot of time preparing for it. You do your homework: you flirt with pretty women. You study them day after day. You..um “practice” (though I don’t think a lengthy description of that is warranted). Anyway at this point you are quite [...]

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so it’s late Sunday evening and I’m sitting out on the back patio and surfing the internet on the wireless connection..Sweet. But really I am indulging in my newest passion: Pinot Grigio.
I realize that pinot grigio is not exactily hard core as passions go. It’s not Coltrane or Cubism. Ah, what the hell. It’s been [...]

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